My Child Is Scared of the Dentist — What Should I Do Before the Appointment?

If your child is scared of going to the dentist, what you do before the appointment can help make the experience easier.

Some children are nervous because they do not know what to expect. Others may have had a difficult dental or medical experience, dislike unfamiliar sounds or sensations, or simply need more time to feel comfortable in a new environment.

You do not have to eliminate every bit of nervousness before the appointment. The goal is to prepare your child without accidentally giving them more things to worry about.

1. Tell the Dental Office Before You Arrive

One of the most helpful things you can do is tell the dental office that your child is nervous when you schedule the appointment.

Let them know if your child has had a previous difficult experience, has sensory sensitivities, is especially fearful of certain things or has other needs that may affect the visit.

This gives the dental team useful information before your child walks through the door.

2. Keep Your Explanation Simple

Children need to know where they are going, but they usually do not need a detailed explanation of everything that could happen.

You might simply explain that the dentist is going to look at their teeth and help keep their smile healthy.

Try to answer questions calmly and honestly without introducing procedures or problems your child has not asked about.

3. Be Careful With Words That Can Create Fear

Even well-meaning reassurance can sometimes make a child more nervous.

For example, repeatedly saying “It won’t hurt” may cause a child to wonder why you are talking about pain in the first place.

Similarly, sharing your own frightening dental stories or talking about needles, drilling or other procedures before you know they are relevant can create worries that were not there before.

Positive and matter-of-fact is usually better than making the appointment sound scary — or making promises about exactly what will happen.

4. Don’t Promise a Perfect Visit

It can be tempting to tell your child, “There’s nothing to be afraid of,” or promise that everything will be easy.

Instead, let your child know that it is okay to feel nervous and that the dental team is there to help them.

Children vary considerably in temperament, age, previous experiences and ability to cope with unfamiliar situations. A dental visit should take those individual differences into account.

5. Let the Dental Team Explain Dental Procedures

Dentists and dental teams can use age-appropriate communication to help children understand what is happening.

Depending on the child and the situation, approaches may include explaining something in simple language, showing an instrument or action before doing it, asking questions, offering encouragement or using distraction.

You do not need to rehearse every possible dental procedure at home. Sometimes too much preparation can create more anxiety rather than less.

6. Avoid Passing Along Your Own Dental Anxiety

Children can notice how adults talk and react.

If you are nervous about dental care yourself, try not to describe your own fears or difficult experiences before your child’s appointment.

Your child’s experience does not have to be the same as yours.

What If My Child Is Still Scared When We Get There?

That does not mean you prepared them incorrectly or that the visit has failed.

Some children need more time than others to become comfortable with dental care. The appropriate approach depends on the child’s age, temperament, dental needs, previous experiences and level of anxiety.

If this will also be your child’s first dental appointment, read
What Should I Expect at My Child’s First Dental Visit?

What If I’m Still Looking for the Right Dentist?

If your child is especially anxious, choosing a dental office where you feel comfortable discussing those concerns can matter.

Ask how the office approaches nervous children, how they communicate with parents and children, and what happens when a child needs additional time or support.

Read
How Do I Find a Dentist Who Is Good With Nervous Kids?

If trust and experience are also important in your search, read
How Do I Find a Dentist I Can Trust With My Child?

Comfortable Dental Care for Children Near Beaverton

Christine Chin, DMD brings more than 35 years of dental experience and is an Oregon Health & Science University-educated dentist. Cedar Hills Dental Care emphasizes comfortable, compassionate and non-judgmental dental care for children and adults.

Cedar Hills Dental Care has served the community since 1986 and has cared for more than 10,000 smiles. We provide family dentistry for children and adults near Beaverton.

If your child is nervous, tell us when you call. Knowing about your child’s concerns before the appointment can help us better understand their individual needs.

You can also learn more about our
Dental Care for Children
and explore our growing collection of resources for parents.

Further Reading for Parents

If your child is nervous about dental care, these Cedar Hills Dental Care articles may also help:

• What Should I Expect at My Child’s First Dental Visit?
• How Do I Find a Dentist Who Is Good With Nervous Kids?
• How Do I Find a Dentist I Can Trust With My Child?
• How Do I Find an Experienced Dentist for My Child Near Beaverton?
• Should My Child See a Family Dentist or a Pediatric Dentist?